UGSS Tournament of Losers 17: The Greater of Seventeen Evils!
So where the hell have you been? It's another installment of the Tournament of Losers. This game is this old? Call me shocked. (No, don't.) Before we begin, I'd like to reintroduce you to the sixteen tenants of the UGSS Hall of Shame.
UGSS 1 Grand Poobah Loser: Fake-a-Date
UGSS 2 Grand Poobah Loser: Kenny vs Spenny
UGSS 3 Grand Poobah Loser: Jep!
UGSS 4 Grand Poobah Loser: Wheel 2000
UGSS 5 Grand Poobah Loser: Taboo (5x)
UGSS 6 Grand Poobah Loser: Double Dare 2000
UGSS 7 Grand Poobah Loser: Anderson's Family Feud
UGSS 8 Grand Poobah Loser: Thousand Dollar Bee
UGSS 9 Grand Poobah Loser: American Idol (10x)
UGSS 10 Grand Poobah Loser: Without Prejudice?
UGSS 11 Grand Poobah Loser: Temptation (U.S.)
UGSS 12 Grand Poobah Loser: I Want to be a Hilton
UGSS 13 Grand Poobah Loser: Hurl
UGSS 14 Grand Poobah Loser: Married By America (5x)
UGSS 15 Grand Poobah Loser: Hidden Agenda
UGSS 16 Grand Poobah Loser: Just Like Mom
And which show'll join these unlucky pieces of donkey crap? Introducing the 31 contestants.
1. The Cut
2. Summers' Double Dare
3. Celebrity Blackjack
4. All New 3's a Crowd
5. Love Connection
6. Set For Life
7. Just Like Mom
9. Match Game '98
10. Who Dares Wins
11. Star Games
12. The Dating Game
13. 3ís a Crowd '79
14. The Moment of Truth
15. How Much is Enough?
16. Minute to Win It
17. On the Cover
18. Win, Lose or Draw
19. Dog Eat Dog
20. Wipeout '88
22. The Newlywed Game
23. Late Night Liars
24. The Power of 10
26. Game$how Marathon
28. I've Got a Secret
29. Catch 21
30. Instant Recall
That's a lot of potential suckage there. With the rules for this, listen up - because I've got them.
1. Five votes will eliminate a show, but I will add one for every division that we advance to until we get to ten votes.
2. One vote after every update. I will try to update around 12:00am EST. If I update early, you're okay to vote again.
3. Any player who has voted correctly seven or more times will be allowed to vote in the final two portion of the game, only to make it fair to those players who have voted on a constant basis. As for the validation rule? Throw that out the window. In the Tournament of Losers, this is a free for all game. You may go as far as to vote a show out by yourself if you're lucky enough.
4. If a person does not vote for a show up for a feature (10-Spot, Still Frame), then their vote will not count, and will not be considered a legal vote for validation. I'm sorry; but if you don't want to vote on some things, I have the right to do this.
5. Please try to make sure that when you vote, you give not only the host but other voters some sort of easy to understand vote. For instance, "P+" is acceptable, while something like "Yeah boyyyyyyyy" isn't. It saves some of my sanity from running away.
6. A Freeze Frame can be used up to two times on any show (and only two times, unless the show is awarded one or more Still Frames (Still Frame to be explained later)). A show protected by Freeze Frame cannot have a vote cast on it and will start the second a voter requests that one is used. Freeze Frames will expire in two days (on the third update after the awarding, so nobody grasps straws over what minute). Freeze Frames cannot stack, so one needs to expire first before another one can be used. Freeze Frames become null and void if there are not at least five shows left to vote for. I ask that in order to give a show a Freeze Frame, that show has to have at least one vote to their name.
7. BRE\-/KDOWN can be used one time per show. When used, this will allow four votes to be subtracted from the player's total (and cannot put a show in the red). This may be used in conjunction and/or during a Freeze Frame.
8. You may nominate a show for a 10-Spot the same way you nominate a show for Sudden Death. If the majority of people agree, the nominated show will require ten votes to be eliminated. 10-Spots can be used with any other feature except for the fact that you cannot nominate a show for both a 10-Spot and Sudden Death on the same day. (You can still nominate a 10-Spotted show for Sudden Death later on in the game, if you so choose.) Please, no more than three 10-Spot nominations in a day. All 10-Spots will expire when we are down to the final two. If a show really sticks in your craw, you may nominate a 10-Spotted show for a wicked evil 30-Spot. Since it will probably take forever in getting a 30-Spotted show out of the game, a two-thirds majority will be required, and up to three shows will be affected by the 30-Spot. A [3X] will appear if a show is affected by a 30-Spot. A show MUST be 10-Spotted in order to be eligible for the 30.
9. If you really wish to be rude, crude, and all around mean, there is the Unlucky Seven. You nominate two shows for an Unlucky Seven, and the next day, all voters will cast their vote between the two of them. The show with the most votes will be cursed. A curse requires seven votes before regular votes are counted. During that time, they may not be voted off. Two Unlucky Seven matchups per day.
The following color code list is how Unlucky Sevens are to be read:
(7) to (5)
(4) to (2)
10. The Plus/Minus feature (+/-) will add two votes to a show's tally while subtracting two votes from the tally of another show. Using this feature cannot put either show above the vote aggregate or below zero votes. You may use one plus and one minus per show, but you must not cancel one Plus/Minus with another. You may not combine this feature with your regular vote.
The following move is illegal and will not be accepted:
+ to Survivor, - to American Idol
+ to American Idol, - to Survivor
The following move is legal and will be accepted:
+ to The Price is Right, - to Lingo
+ to Lingo, - to Show Me the Money
11. A Still Frame wields more power than a traditional Freeze Frame. When you nominate a show for the Still Frame feature, everyone votes the next day to possibly give the show more Freeze Frames. Depending on how many votes a show gets for the Still Frame nomination, the percentage of yes votes will be calculated based on the following scale:
0 -- 49.9% = No Still Frame awarded
50 -- 66.6% = Normal Still Frame awarded (1 extra Freeze Frame)
66.7 -- 99.9% = High Still Frame awarded (2 extra Freeze Frames)
100% = Unanimous Still Frame awarded (3 extra Freeze Frames)
Once a show has been nominated for the Still Frame, you may not vote the show off until the feature has been decided.
12. Any attempt to abuse or subvert the features will result in a Double Whammy against the player. It will automatically generate a one strike penalty and I may award an extra Freeze Frame or BRE\-/KDOWN! (up to a maximum of five) in more severe cases if I feel a feature is being burned.
13. Here's where I throw in the LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This game is nothing but a parody. No intent is made to malign, demean, or insult anyone in the game show industry, past or present.
With that said, it's time to get down to business.
On the Cover. I'll start there.
Catch-21, sucks? Meh, I don't think so.
Upcoming Shows: Iron Maiden, Devore, September 13
Kamelot, Anaheim, September 21
Someone give me a replacement for Just Like Mom since I clearly have a habit of not thinking straight.
Replacement? I have no idea.
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