Why women why?

[gameshowfan91]

Why are you cold hearted? They go for guys that have a "perfect body" and ignore fat/ ugly looking guys like they're trash to put in a garbage can. Those "less than perfect bodied" men don't get a chance to prove themselves, like most fat men don't get a chance at a job probably because company is scared they'll have an accident and their image would be bad for company, probably because girls view them lazy, ugly couch potatoes that won't ever change their ways. Newsflash: Nobody's body is perfect, there's chubby men change their habits and lost weight for girls, and "perfect bodied" men sometimes turn out to be a jerk. Something like this gets portrayed on TV. If everyone can have a "perfect body," there would be no obese people.

I feel no girl will want me. My body is far from perfect, but it's not like I'm obese. I'm 233lbs, but it's not like when I was 265lbs. There, I changed my bad habits. Fat men CAN change their bad habits. I do workout unlike my old fat self. It seems I don't get a chance. It seems I don't have a good enough body for them. Not everyone is born with a "perfect body" and it's not their fault. I can be really sweet. I guess to girls, there's two categories: "perfect bodied" men and fat/ugly men. Does a good inside mean anything to girls anymore?

[CardSharks8689]

I totally understand what you are saying. But if girls are not going to want to go out with you, it may not be due to obesity (as that would be discrimination on their part), but more due to:

• Attitude: If a guy's attitude is not appealing to the girl, the girl will not go out with that guy.
  
  
• Personality: If a guy's and girl's personalities match, there's a relationship in bloom.
  
  
• Interests: Say, if a guy has a massive interest in game shows (like myself, to name one person), and a lot of girls I know in real life don't have an interest in game shows (which is true, btw), then needless to say, no one will go out with me.

Like I had said, I don't have a girlfriend nor do I have a wife, and 99.9 chances out of 100 I will likely be single all my life. And am I complaining? No! Besides, I'd prefer female dance partners over going out with women.

And btw, I do have female friends. They're not girlfriends nor are any of them my wife, but they are more a role model and a friend, that's all.

[M2nFarisFan]

Woman want four things: Shut up, give me money, give me your time, and give me something I can run my fingers down. If you don't have an qualitatively significant amount of the sum of all four, you ain't getting l**d. Some girls are a little easier than others. I had a country bumpkin once come on to me.....she was a little bit mentally disabled and never had anyone, and her parents had money and were desperately looking for a guy to pick her up (and she was a whole lotta Rosie, at that....) The problem is with me is that if you are more desperate than me, I'm not even considering you, period.

On the other hand, I met a girl who worked retail, about 3-4 years younger than me named Amy. We actually had a conversation, and she "misrang" a $120 radio for $10 for me. And the truth was she wasn't this mentally challenged oaf that I usually get....she had her female curves, but didn't dress like a Jeff Foxworthy pun (more like a Aero/BabyPhat mix.) We might be going out soon, so look out.

The truth is that girls will be a lot nicer to you if you're not depressed. I know someone who has a little bit of money, but all he does is (b-bomb) and moan about how horrible the world is, and has too many mannerisms and obsessions that just make him socially awkward. Girls in general like to console the emotional boy, but when it comes to dates, you better be ready to pick up a gun and blow someone to Columbus with it to protect her. Weakness shows in men like wearing pink to the Republic National Convention...it sticks out. And in general, I went and found by thinking positively and being generally funny (but not inappropriate) and always having good things to say about people, you'll at least get prospects. I made more friends at work in 3 months than I did in 24 years prior. Most of them are women. It made me feel better to have multiple choices rather than a commitment.

Jon has a good point about getting matches. You gotta find someone who isn't going to want to do their own thing. If you are a guy, especially, she's going to make you meet her family, stop for a tad at the Chanel counter, and if she points in that glass case, you better either have a good reason or a thick checkbook ready.

And don't get all tied up in a knot if she isn't perfect. No one is. That same person I know told me I must be crazy because I don't flip over supermodels. To be honest, you can aim high, but if you can't treat her like a woman, you are going to be fantasizing rather than doing.

Finally, the thing is that despite all that is said about intimacy and relationships, it's not all that it's chalked up to be. You can't have wandering eyes or beers or even money left over - she will take it all. You basically have to realign your schedule to keep her busy. She will cost you your patience, your job, and your life if you're not at full notice. Bachelorhood is much better because you haven't lost your freedom.

[racingchick1020]

Woman want four things: Shut up, give me money, give me your time, and give me something I can run my fingers down. If you don't have an qualitatively significant amount of the sum of all four, you ain't getting l**d.

Bull. I'd like a guy who's financially stable, not someone who's got an arseload of cash in his bank account. Definitely not mutual.

I'm definitely not shallow. I'm not looking for a guy with rock hard abs. I mean, that would be nice, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. I'm going with my next best plan: Personality. If they're not interesting to be around, I don't want to be with them. Thanks for showing; don't let the door hit you on the way out. That, and I agree with Jon. I'd like a guy who has the same interests as I do. If they're a sports fan and can tolerate my obsession with the NHL, then great. I just don't want some poor schmuck who's hobby is to collect bottle caps and would rather sit and watch the CBS nightly news at 6:30. Those are things that I can't connect with.

[M2nFarisFan]

Depends on what you mean by personality, Mandy. I know a lot of guys who have a personality of "interesting" who are horrible partners. That and I'll add a corollary: Girls love nice cars but not the doucheswabs who drive them. If you have a nice car, chances are it's your first interest. That and I hate to say it, but the main, primal, reason fat people with crooked teeth, pimples, long hair, etc. are considered "unattractive" is not because of a societal reason as much as it is about genetics - if the person has a flaw, their "seed" has flaws, too. It's also about your body: if you can't take care of the one thing you have 100% control over, can't eat right or brush your teeth or groom yourself, how are you going to take another's body and dedicate yourself to it?

[TheNewNeko]

Wow, holy shiitake, Steve-o. You are, at the very least, tied for the biggest misogynist I've ever met in my life.

The other distinct honor goes to a man I knew from 1996 - 2003 named Omar. Omar was a neighbor who claimed to be a born-again Christian but constantly put down everyone around him, especially women, Caucasians, and had a severe contempt for age of consent laws. I also saw him get shot down on no less than half a dozen occasions which proves there is some justice in the world.

Now I don't know if you really believe this or are just trying to say things for effect, and I'm no authoritative expert in the field of romance, having mostly given up advice when a person IM'd me and told me since she refused her boyfriend's request to sleep with him that he beat her head against a car door, and asked me what to do, I've learned that being honest doesn't work with some people.

But I can tell you this. If you do really believe half of what you said, you better pray to God or Ben Roethlisberger or Cindy "Crybaby" Crosby or Whines Hard or whoever in the eff you worship late at night that she has an incredibly low sense of self-worth. And I'll tell you why. If this Amy has any degree of self-valuation, that she will catch the first train to Bethlehem, PA the minute she hears you spouting that diatribe if anyone else is in her vicinity. I do happen to know that stating women as self-centered, gold-digging vindictive (B-bomb, slang for female dog)es will not earn you any merit points in the field of finding a compatible mate and holding onto said woman.

Ladies, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong and you perfectly fit Steve-o's mold in Post number 3. In which case, I might worry for the future of humanity.

Besides that, after your cheerleader comment, I figured you were swinging on the other side of the fence. Although that post describing women is a good step in the right direction.

[starwheel]

I had a different experience meeting my husband in 1995 than most people did then...we actually met online. Sure, that's a pretty common thing now, but it freaked my relatives out to the point that they still harbor resentment toward him. (Me being 19 and he being 27 at the time probably didn't help matters either, in their eyes.) I had dated other guys, most of them closer to my own age, but didn't feel the personal connection, because they were honestly more dominated by their hormones than their hearts, for the most part. They didn't seem as interested in actually making a go at a relationship. But when I met him...it was different. We were long-distance for over a year, and when we started really talking, it got serious fast, and we had the phone bills to prove it. It was that we could talk about anything and everything, without being pressured by the people around us...the relationship just developed on its own. We didn't even meet face-to-face until September of 1996, but it was like we had known each other forever. I knew he was The One when he started to bond with my Dad, who I was very close to. In one of those conversations, he told him how he felt about me, and, being a true gentleman, asked Daddy for his approval to propose marriage to me. We have now been married for 15 years, and have three children together. He had been married once before and burned, and I was pretty much done with men and could have cared less about being anything but single, but that all changed when we met. We have both evolved over time, and sometimes we disagree pretty broadly on things. But I believe he is my soulmate, and that we were brought together for a reason. As long as we keep learning from each other, and are committed to each other, then our relationship will continue to grow...we joke about one day being like one of those inseparable little old couples who just can't bear to leave each other.

From the perspective of one of those women who used to take stock of the shallow stuff and never really expected to get married anyhow...never say never. It will happen, and will probably happen when you least expect, and in the way you least expect. And sometimes that's the best way...just follow your heart when it feels right. You will know when the time and the person are right.

[M2nFarisFan]

Let's put it this way, Neko....I may have never had a girlfriend full-time, but I've been around enough women for long periods of time to know there's some truth to it. Despite the fact a lot of it is for effect. It's not misogynistic as much as just CYA-style things....e.g., when my co-worker brought a $11,000 diamond engagement ring out of the case, showed it to me, and she said "I'd like this". If you are as much of a masculine monolith (said gently) as you champion yourself to be, you should shake in your boots when I say that.

I'll give you 5/10 on the credit for your response because, yes, you don't say that to a woman (and to the OP, heed Neko's words on that), but if you are a man, you have to remember that. My brother is the total opposite of me (outgoing, social, eh, "in shape"), but he had a girlfriend for some time about a couple of years ago. She was well to do; her parents both had a nice house in the North Hills, she was going to private college and was athletic, and they got along - even I was friends with her.

The problem? They broke up. Why? Because he quit school for a semester and went to be a licensed trainer. Now, it wasn't the distance from school (he could drive up there). It wasn't even the fact he wasn't there. He had a part time job and a separate schedule. She wanted to see him every day. And they would go out and he'd buy dinner. (Maybe that's your issue, Neko, considering your dictation about the poor economy, but I don't feel like being personal). Granted, the two of them were perfect matches, but it didn't work. Because he didn't have time nor money. (Read "Proof Girls Are Evil" for a laugh. Considering you are a math freak, you might raise the corner of your lip to it).

And to be honest, Big Steve, I'm not afraid to tell my female friends it, because it's old news, buddy. Take it that I spend most of my time at work with females, and they're the ones whom I've learned it from. Accepting it as part of the game of love and relationships will probably give you an advantage (and at 39, you're beginning to see your doors close. I'm not even 26 and my, eh, "drive" is not as impressive as it was when I was 17. )

I could tell you the whole story about Amy (who works at a secondhand store for minimum wage....you might have to share the "looks down on poor/blue-collar/female people" with your friends on Facebook) but I'm not going to post it here on this thread because it's rather irrelevant to the topic and I'm not turning this thread into a Steve-on-Steve dialogue of trolling and flaming as usual....I'm done with that for now. But gameshowfan91 needs to know that.

[racingchick1020]

Girls love nice cars but not the doucheswabs who drive them.

Again, would you stop lumping all women into that category? Yeah, I notice the nice cars. No, I don't think I'm driving those anytime soon, nor am I looking at dating anyone who drives them. I'm probably getting something cheap and used.

[Melyssa56]

One of the reasons why I married at age 45 was because of the "Oink-oinks" male chauvinist piggies out there, trying to be Macho Man Randy Savage amongst others. Believe me, I've had more men ask me out than can occupy the Whatever-the-name-of-the-building where the Flyers play, but macho men, religious fanatics, smokers, and those who didn't care to get or hold a job, were total turnoffs. My husband is the sweetest man I've ever met, always willing to do things for me -- buying expensive items is not a necessity -- and I do lots of things for him, and we've been in love from the get-go. On the other hand, a lot of my girlfriends from long ago wanted the millionaire macho types, very few were able to find the wealthy ones, and many of the relationships they were in fizzled because of them wanting the sizzle, not the steak.

[M2nFarisFan]

Again, would you stop lumping all women into that category? Yeah, I notice the nice cars. No, I don't think I'm driving those anytime soon, nor am I looking at dating anyone who drives them. I'm probably getting something cheap and used.

You lumped yourself into that one, Mandy.....so I'm 1 for 1 on that.

But anyways, the truth is this (and don't listen to anything else - the other posters are older, married, and/or hopelessly affixed to the image and not the big picture): As a man, you have to be there for women. Constantly. When I've been on dates, I've been dedicated. When she wants something, you either gotta pull out the wallet or body part, or have a darn good excuse, or she's leaving you for someone who can. Personality doesn't do jack (s-bomb) if you don't catch her eye. I've grown up in the supposed "hilljack" country (ask Neko about his caricature of Steeler fans and you'll know), but if you don't make a move or come off with the right words, you ain't gettin' lucky, period. You ain't even getting her in your car for the kiss goodnight. Sure, you don't go up to a woman and say "You are an inferior gender. Wash my feet and floss my underarms, (b-bomb)", but you know, the best girls have lots of competition. The cheerleaders aren't even going to look at you if you're over 30 and have poor body language.

You have to market yourself, because in general, despite how good you are inside, if you are overweight, have a sallow complexion, pimples, and alone at the bar, you're not getting talked to. I mean, go add me on Facebook and look at who is dating/engaged/married to whom. You'll see that there are very few of those "perfect bodies" dating anyone but GQ, and in comparison, the ugly chicks are mostly going after older guys with a little bit of money and not so "youthful looks". It ain't easy to crack the code, but considering I thought I was going to date a hot chick for years until I got my head out of the hot tub fantasy in the sky and realized my marketing strategy isn't working, I now have at least some fine women who will give me forum.

But it depends. I could be wrong, and they could be right. After all, many have had time enough in their lives to post 2,000 messages in 14 months on a game show forum. They must have good relationships.

[TheNewNeko]

Boy, Steve-o. Here's a piece of advice. Leave romantic advice to the people who actually aren't ambiguously homosexual or a raging misogynist. Because it seems that every time you open your mouth, the only thing that you accomplish is switching what foot you insert into it.

Maybe you should try less difficult things, or something you're good at. Like what time is appropriate to sneak past security and stalk Crosby, or how to antagonize people from Philadelphia or California, because you are clearly no Dr. Drew, which is just as well, because to be honest, I have visions of you either finally coming out of the closet with Y.M.C.A. playing in the background or turning out having to settle for sheep as casual partners.

[racingchick1020]

You lumped yourself into that one, Mandy.....so I'm 1 for 1 on that.

I think I'm getting the upper hand on you since you're clearly trying to look between the lines. There's nothing there. I only said that because I'm trying to tell you that it doesn't (f-bomb)ing matter what kind of car a guy drives. That's not even something that I'm going to look at when it comes to finding a guy. I see a classic car on the streets? I like it, it drives by, and I'm done. Nothing more to see here.

[M2nFarisFan]

Well, TBQH, there's a happy medium, Mandy. The truth is that the first thing a woman wants is financial security. Being intelligent, smart, or particularly good at something is not a seller there. Being able to pick up the check is 10^37 more important there. The first impression a female gets of a potential partner is his ride (sorry, it's true). It has to have the nice paint job. The doors can't fall off. There better not be burger wrappers in the backseat or crumbs on the floor. I'm sorry that you disagree, but from the real women I've met, ones that look for successful, affable men like myself, that's the selling point. I have a Crown Victoria....people think it's an old person's car. But there's people my age who drive junk piles. When her friends (never mind her parents) see a rustbucket with one headlight and enough cracks to look like the 101 in the 909, it's a turn off. Even if you are Brad Pitt.

See, I'm different than a lot of you. I've often thought to myself about the people on here in general. Most of them really don't have a full set of talents (myself included on that one), but I stopped going for the Mandy Moore and Anna Faris type and starting looking at real women. In fact, this girl Amy went crazy over for me because (guess what) I asked her if she had a Valentine....she said she was lonely. So I went and bought her a bracelet, and she loved it. It was a dollar, and that was it. But you know what? It opened doors and got me in her head.

There's a truth to the matter: If you want to date someone simply to procreate, you don't need a nice car or house or even live in them to get it. But if you want someone to love, you have to give more than take....especially if you are a guy. The problem is that there's way too many loser guys out there who just want someone to have the B.C. I was one of them until I realized that real women want a foundation and not have to deal with bill collectors and illegitimate children.

Proof of concept: Ever see how many military husbands there are? Girls love 'em. Why? Because that guy will blow the (s-bomb) out of a home intruder if one breaks in. He'll always have a job, which equates to money. He has discipline and courtesy entrained into him by Uncle Sam. If stuff breaks, he has the skills. He keeps his hair neat, his house in order....it's the real thing. If you don't see that as competition as a person my age, you really must be in the closet. And to be honest, the personality part includes your spending habits. So there.

[racingchick1020]

The first impression a female gets of a potential partner is his ride (sorry, it's true).

And I'm telling you that what you're saying doesn't apply to every woman.

I honestly don't get why you're going to debate this with me. I could go all night if I had to.